girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
