He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
