yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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