I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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