just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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