My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
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