FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
