Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
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