You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
