wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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