I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I wish my penis had an off switch
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
