Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
