Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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