What tipped you off? The sombrero?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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