I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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