in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
