Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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