I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
