I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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