I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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