You really coming over, don't trick.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
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