Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
