Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Randomize
