I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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