Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
