I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
