Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
