Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
