Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
