i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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