My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
This beer is not sobering me up at all
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
