so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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