after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
