its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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