Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
