Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
