Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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