Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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