dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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