I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
