U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize