I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
