So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
