I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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