Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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