So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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