From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
