I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
