You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
