i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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