i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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