In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
